Just keep showing up

This past year, I have had to let go of my beloved 5Rhythms dance practice. At least until my physical therapist has restored the alignment in my fascia network. At least until I have learned not to let other dancers pull me into their dance and out of my own boundaries.

Now, how many times have I written a blog on this topic? Do I ever listen to my own wisdom? Yes, I do… and at times I forget. Most of you probably know by now that living these truths in daily life is more challenging than simply understanding them.

There are always so many things to feel guilty about: not doing enough, doing too much, wanting too much, being too judgmental, not seeing the truth. The truth is, that this is what life is about. We are imperfect. I'm imperfect. Accepting this fact is the first step.

And the next step is to gently, patiently let go of the guilt and bring yourself back to your practice. Whether that practice is: listening to your body, sitting still, paying attention to your own boundaries, or whatever it is you wish to do because you know you will benefit from it. Jack Kornfield describes it as the way you would lovingly train a puppy: “Sit… Stay…” And when the puppy runs off, you gently bring it back and start again. Just keep showing up. Again and again, in the spirit of loving kindness to yourself.

This is what I wish for you in this dark season of the year, when we light our lights and celebrate, each of us in our own way, the advent of love in the world. Just keep showing up.

A rainbow-colored house

The latest fuss about the Dutch Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet (St. Nicholas and his Moorish servant Black Peter) was discouraging enough. For those who haven’t been following the discussion, St. Nicholas is attended by a servant (often several) whose face has been blackened and whose clothing suggests the attire of Moors in the 4th century. Recently, it has been suggested that this is discriminating against people with a black skin and condoning the Dutch role in the slave trade. At first it seemed to simply be a vehicle for political catfights. Now, media and policy-makers have taken over. This year Piet’s face was painted all the colors of the rainbow, as a statement that we are a rainbow-colored nation, home to all races and creeds.

Putting aside the fact that the presence of a Moorish servant to a bishop in 4th century Myra (in present-day Turkey) is probably historically accurate, another thing disturbs me. In Austria and southern Germany, St. Niklaus is accompanied by Krampus. There, the original intention of balancing black and white: the forces of good and evil, night and day, is intact. Krampus cannot be turned into some harmless symbol of political correctness. He’s just too scary.

Now my American friends have informed me that the greeting Merry Christmas is considered to be politically incorrect these days, discriminating against all belief systems that do not center around the birth of the Christ child.

It took me a while to understand my own impatient sighs. After all, as far as religion is concerned, if anything you might call me a pagan. And I deeply honor and respect all races and belief systems. But that is exactly why I object to this approach. It provides the semblance of tolerance, without getting to the root of the intolerance. If people distrust and fear Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Christians, or anyone else who is not of the correct persuasion or skin color, political window-dressing is not going to change that.

The root of the problem lies, in my perception, in the fact that We is so often defined as a group that includes some people (or life forms) and excludes others. And the outsiders need to be kept out or exterminated, at any cost. This is the We of adolescent groups, the ones who all wear the same clothing or listen to the same music. True adulthood means letting go of this exclusive identification and opening one’s sense of belonging to all people… to all living things in the universe.

And so this holiday season – and the rest of the year – my home and heart is opened to all life. I wish all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyful Yule, and (in other times of the year) Blessed Diwali en Eid. And I will light a candle for Zwarte Piet, who taught me the truth about discrimination and tolerance.