Roots

Some people grow up very conscious of their roots. I have had people tell me that they travel far and wide but are always aware that, when they came home to the place they were born and raised, it really feels like homecoming, a sense of belonging to the land.

Others, and I myself belong to this group, grew up without real roots. As a child, I lived in six different locations in the world during the first five years of my life. And even after that, I didn’t live more than five years in one place until I was well into my 20’s. Circumstances can push children into a similar rootless existence. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a difficult life. Expatriate author and publisher Jo Parfitt often describes happy moments in her books and blogs about moving to different parts of the world.

However, it can leave a subtle mark. For a long time I was puzzled by my own restlessness. Am I an American at heart? After spending any amount of time in the wild places Stateside, I’m often overtaken by a yearning to base my life there again. Do I belong to my adopted Netherlands? This cultivated, under sea-level country I’ve lived in for the past 44 years? And why does visiting New Zealand suddenly fill me with the urge to go live there?

Leaving a place that has made me feel welcomed and at home can be very difficult. I’m not good at lingering goodbyes. A little voice inside me taught me to shut down and leave quickly, so I wouldn’t be overcome by grief and loss as a little girl. That voice still takes control whenever I need to leave people or places behind.

And so I have recently begun to consciously teach myself to put down roots, no matter where I am or how long I will stay. To take my cue from the trees. During my recent stay in the Sonoran Desert, I found Mesquite trees, stubbornly putting down their gnarled roots in stony barren land, even in rock crevices, pulling up nourishment and growing against all odds.

If they can do it, I can. And I allow myself to take my time saying goodbye these days. I allow myself to feel any grief or pain that it might bring. Because, allowing myself to feel grief and pain also means allowing myself to feel love and joy. And so I can carry all the places I’ve been and the people who have meant something to me in my heart.

I’m curious as to what putting down roots has meant for you, please share!

Down to earth

Last Monday, the weather turned beautiful. I bought some fresh potting soil and spent several hours repotting herbs. Such a calming thing to do! I basked in the feeling of the soil in my hands, the scent of the herbs, and the warmth of the sun. My plants received new soil and my restless spirit came back down to earth.

Balancing oneself this way is referred to as ‘grounding’. My clients often say they don’t understand how to do this. As if it is some mysterious process that only comes after hard practice. Not at all; it’s really quite simple. Every time you pay more attention to what your hands and feet are doing than to what is going on in your head, you are grounding. For instance: a walk in nature, gardening, or doing chores around the house. You let go of stressful thoughts and feelings and relax your mind.

In Chinese philosophy and health care, the principle of yin and yang plays a central role. Yang energy moves outward and upward. The warmth of the sun is associated with yang. Yin energy moves inward and downward. For instance, the cool earthy soil under our feet. A tree shows both these principles: its roots grow down into the earth and its crown opens up to the warm sun.



There is an easy Tai Chi exercise called Standing Like a Tree. Stand with your feet at shoulder width. Your posture is straight but relaxed. Feel your feet on the ground and imagine them, like tree-roots, growing down into the earth. Imagine the crown of your head opening up to the sun like the crown of a tree. Your body is like the tree-trunk with its branches, solid and at the same time flexible. Thoughts and events come and go but the tree, that is you, remains standing.

You don’t need to do this exercise for long, just a minute is sometimes enough to calm your mind.

This is a very good way to ground yourself. However, don’t forget that simple, practical activities are just as effective. What do you do to come back down to earth?

Images to accompany this blog on Pinterest